The Oprah Decoder

OWN is a whole new level

2008-01-15T14:44:00.000-05:00

Oprah just scored her own entire television network http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080115/ap_en_tv/tv_oprah_channel

This is a whole new level. Think how long it took the NFL to get their own network.

If it goes public I recommend you buy buy buy

4 month recap

2007-10-25T12:15:00.001-05:00

Dr oz still thinks your wife is fat
Dr Phil still can't believe how crazy America is
Oprah wants you to buy new Jeans
Someone got a makeover
Someone got a home makeover
Some celebrities were on the show talking about nothing important

I guess Oprah wants you to vote for Obama........ Imagine that.

I have never seen a media source run around in a circle like this. I guess that is how you make the big bucks :)

O's school gets first blemish

2007-10-25T12:13:00.000-05:00

I have not posted in a long time but this deserved attention. Way to help the kids http://www.wistv.com/Global/story.asp?S=7260671

This weeks recap

2007-06-20T07:51:00.000-05:00

Monday - Diet day with Oprahs fitness coach

Tuesday - Bad hair day
Man did we miss out but your wifes hair probably looked sweet when you got home

Wednesday - a 15 year old girl killed her baby. I hope she gets exactly what she deserves and anyone associated with it goes with her.

Thursday - After Imus, Now What? I have my opinion, if you could not have looked at Imus the first time you saw him and thought crazy ass cracker and never watched again this would not be a big deal. Why do Americans spend so much time watching TV to see what people like Imus think instead of just forming their own opinion.

Friday - The Hip Hop Community responds to Imus - I'll say it again. I don't care what the hip hop community thinks of Imus. I have my own opinion and honestly the first time Imus I made up my mind in 2 minutes that I would never watch him again. 2 years later this happened and I'm just glad he got fired for bashing someone else. If you want to make fun of your self go right ahead but why a media person has to bash others is why I don't watch. Those girls did nothing to Imus. It is praying on the week. Hopefully he will get his turn at that in some dark alley one night.

No Posts Since April... What did we miss

2007-06-20T07:37:00.000-05:00

Nothing Important and certainly nothing you have not already read in this blog.

more diets, hot jeans, makeovers, Dr. OZ, Dr.Phil, Dr. Who gives a ......... , and of course some more publicity for the Oprah academy in South Africa.

Oprah selling Zulu baskets

2007-04-02T11:55:00.000-05:00

These nice baskets are only $78. I'm sure there is no margin in that deal.

http://boutique.oprah.com/product/show/5872

O the nerve

2007-04-02T11:51:00.000-05:00

I think Oprah talks a lot about financial responsibility right? There's always something on her site about financial makeovers and getting out of debt etc. etc .

But if you have a baby you better get that kid a set of Oprah mittens and matching hat for only $24.00 . Amazing.

http://boutique.oprah.com/product/show/5824

a DVD about her school......imagine that

2007-04-02T11:45:00.000-05:00

If you have read one post about that school I always have said it is the greatest marketing tool ever.

For only $29.99 you can buy a DVD talking about the school project. YESSSSSSSSSSSS

Disney movies are about $10 these days but Oprah can get 3X that price. The best part is they filmed the whole project anyways and so a little editing, fancy jacket and bingo here comes some more money.

Oprah Winfrey dreamed of building a first-class school to nurture, educate and turn gifted South African girls from impoverished backgrounds into the country's future leaders. 'Building a Dream' is the emotional journey to the opening of the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls—South Africa, an exclusive look through Oprah's eyes.
We are now accepting orders for the DVD 'Building a Dream: The Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy.' Please note that the DVDs will begin shipment on March 27, 2007.

As a special offer to educators, the DVD is available for the discounted price of $23.95 plus $6.95 shipping and handling. To order, simply send a request on your school's letterhead, along with a purchase order, to:

The Oprah Boutique
PO BOX 2284
South Burlington, VT 05407-2284

http://boutique.oprah.com/product/show/5830

I will still say that it was nice to build that school but I would rather see her put her power and money in this countries school system.

New #1 book coming

2007-04-02T11:42:00.000-05:00

If you see the book "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy at your house you know who recommended it.

I guarantee that if you did a coloring book and Oprah talked about it you would break the bank.

why someone walked away from millions

2007-04-02T11:39:00.000-05:00

Money isn't everything but most people who walk away from millions already have millions or are going to make millions doing something else. There is not enough info on the site to even guess at what this guy is really up to.

Miss USA on today

2007-04-02T11:36:00.000-05:00

Imagine this, an intern from Oprah wins Miss USA?

I'm not saying she's not a candidate but with ratings struggling for pagaents I would think that the judges knew this might bring some publicity. Who watches these things on TV? Who Cares?

What did I miss

2007-04-02T11:34:00.000-05:00

I took the month off because nobody really cares and I was busy.

I'm sure you could figure out that there were some makeovers, some celebrities, book plugs, a huge feature on her school in South Africa, and the standard tear jerker.

Thursday - They beat the odds

2007-02-28T10:37:00.000-05:00

NFL palyer who ended up homeless and a woman who lost her husband in a plane crash. Sounds like a tear jerker, expect an emotional Thursday night.

I wish them both the best in the future.

Chris Rock on Oprah

2007-02-28T10:27:00.000-05:00

Chris Rock on how much he loves his wife and kids. Some girl from American Idol with some big news.

On Chris Rock - I think he is the funniest guy on the planet. He can do whatver he wants and I hope the Oprah appearance helps him out. I doubt Oprah will bring up the fact that CR has a song called can a n word get a table dance.

On American Idol - Aside from William Hung rocking She Bangs this has been another Fox network POS trainwreck that people just have to see but it did give us the gift of William

http://www.williamhung.net/

Go ahead sing it.... Talk to me, tell me your sign.......

I hope it is in your head all day.

Tuesday ... story from an ABC reporter injured in Iraq

2007-02-26T09:23:00.000-05:00

I know there must be something inside a reporter that really wants to get the scoop from Iraq but if your married with kids why would you go over there and not expect the worst? Give that assighment to the person who has less to lose. Even if you wanted to tell the truth it would get drowned out by Fox news and CNN. The media coverage of this war is awful. Next time your at the ariport talk to a guy in uniform.

O's oscar party

2007-02-26T09:19:00.000-05:00

I could care less but expect some movie talk or a trip to the video store on your way home from work.

I hear that Netflix has a new view it now button for their customers so you can watch right on your computer.

her school on primetime

2007-02-26T09:18:00.000-05:00

I see the media pattern and once again think this is her best ad buy ever.

More on the school that Oprah built

2007-02-19T13:44:00.000-05:00

This could be the best investment she ever made. The PR and hooplah she gets for this is crazy.

I'll say it agian. It is great she built this school for those poor girls in South Africa, it really is. I personally care much more about the kids in this country that need some help. I can guarantee that there are 250 little kids in chicago that are homeless that she could help today.

Clean up the mess at home and then go abroad or at least give the same amount to your country as you do another.

That's just my opinion of course.

more on that secret

2007-02-19T13:43:00.000-05:00

Look,
I agree that you need a positive attitude and that if you don't set goals you will never hit them. Why is that a secret?

home makeovers

2007-02-19T13:39:00.000-05:00

If you have not had enough of this by now you are disconnected from the media.

Furniture could be the biggest rip off industry there is. Find furniture on sale and negotiate from there. It is all marked up about 400%. You could go broke buying stupid knick knacks

great, party planning

2007-02-19T13:36:00.000-05:00

Just what I always wanted. I get to overspend on decorations and gourmet food for guests coming over and messing up our place. I'm all for having friends come over in small numbers but I do not believe in the principle of spending a lot of money on it. People should just bring something with them, we all have a good time and then they go home. I still get stuck with the clean up.

Valentines for Oprah

2007-02-13T11:06:00.000-05:00

I'm going out on a limb to say all the guests will have mushy love stories and Oprah might get some sponsors to help some couples have a lavish day.

Tuesday with Dr OZ

2007-02-12T10:23:00.000-05:00

How often is this guy on the show? Medical info for women. sweet

Monday Genuis kids

2007-02-12T10:21:00.000-05:00

get ready to hear stories about some kids that are really smart and or talented.

The Secret? I hate code words.........

2007-02-07T08:44:00.000-05:00

Oprah has a secret that is the key to making everything in your life perfect. I'll take one but I want a guarantee.

Shock Therapy

2007-02-06T15:24:00.000-05:00

Tomorrows show is on getting rid of cludder. If you tighten up your side of the closet and maybe toss some stuff from the garage you could be a hero

Celeb day

2007-02-05T10:39:00.000-05:00

John Travolta, Tim Allen, and Martin Lawrence are all on. Oprah could buy those three guys out with the available balance in her checking account. They are going to try to be funny and plug their new stuff

64 year old woman poses nude

2007-02-05T10:37:00.000-05:00

What can I say about this? Your wives will be thinking about how to age gracefully.

If your lucky she might pose nude for you

Get the tivo off for Thursday and take your wife to lunch

2007-01-31T16:01:00.000-05:00

If you don't expect some interior decorating.

You will have new lamps, junk on your walls, mismatched chairs, starfish/coral arrangements, and who know what else.

There is even an interactive tour on her website.

Things have really been going our way for a while and I was wondering if this blog was really helping. Now I know.

If just 100 guys escaped some wasted time and money on this interior design thing I am making progress.

goof ball stuntman

2007-01-31T15:57:00.000-05:00

today some guy is talking about survival techniques with oprah.

neat

5 words to describe your marriage

2007-01-23T09:08:00.000-05:00

She will be thinking about your reltionship on Wednesday. You might want to plan something nice, come home early, offer to cook dinner etc.

I wonder if Oprah will talk about her failed relationship?

Should mom stay at home or work

2007-01-22T16:07:00.001-05:00

Cut and dry topic but expect to hear about the pros and cons of both situations.

Monday is a winner for the guys

2007-01-19T10:28:00.000-05:00

If you are the bread winner for your household make sure your wife watches Mondays show.

Financial makeovers and families that came out of debt last year.

Anytime Oprah is giving info on financial responsibility I am all for it.

Monday through Thursday recap

2007-01-18T14:30:00.000-05:00

I got stuck in Texas during the ice storm and just had to much to do to update the site........

Here's the recap
Oprah talked about her holiday vacation. You know the rich guy who talks about his sick trips limos, private jets etc. Imagine the Chrismas Vacation you'd take with Oprah type of paper.

A little american idol chatter, Who cares,

Now your wife will use google and you will benefit from that in the long run

Kid genuis show, so expect her to get some learning games going for the kids

An interview with the family of the kidnapped kid from Missouri.
- I sincerely wish those kids the best for the rest of their lives. Can you imagine what they have gone through.

7 day diet with Bob Greene. Sound familiar? She runs through this all the time and I think that for being such a role model she could do better herself. There are about a million companies that have really cool life changing products and she knows that she could turn a mom and pop shop into a public company by endorsing and using a product. She should adopt the bob barker plug. Instead of saying don't forget to have your pets spayed and neutered she could simply say. Don't eat too much and get a little excersise.

Oprah Love tricks

2007-01-12T13:53:00.000-05:00

Oprah kicking down some info for the guys here. Have a nice weekend

In The Science of Orgasm (Johns Hopkins University Press), neuroscientist Barry R. Komisaruk, endocrinologist Carlos Beyer-Flores, and sex researcher Beverly Whipple share some secrets of the female variety. Lauren Dzubow reports on the five things you should know about the female orgasm.

Most women need about 20 minutes of clitoral or G-spot stimulation to hit the jackpot. But an estimated 24 to 37 percent of women can't climax (and smoking, drinking, emotional disorders, medications, and menopause can make things worse).

There's hope for the orgasmically challenged. Cognitive behavioral therapy, testosterone treatments, the herb ginkgo biloba, and the nutritional supplement ArginMax (which includes Korean ginseng, ginkgo biloba, vitamins, minerals, and an amino acid) have been shown to improve sexual satisfaction.

Some researchers believe that having an orgasm during sex increases the chance of conception. The theory: Oxytocin, a hormone released in peak levels during orgasm, causes uterine contractions that coax sperm toward the egg.

Besides its obvious perks, masturbating is good for your health. Studies show that orgasm can reduce sensitivity to pain, relieve menstrual cramps, and alleviate stress—possibly due to a surge in oxytocin and dopamine.

From ancient Greece to Freud's time, doctors stimulated orgasms in women via "medical massage" to treat the catchall female ailment known as hysteria. In the late 1800s, the vibrator was designed for the same purpose.

good news bad news

2007-01-12T13:50:00.000-05:00

Good news - Your probably getting into some gourmet pizza this weekend

Bad News - Then your going on Oprahs 7 day diet.

Your wifey might be playing around with some new makeup tricks as well this weekend.

Tell your wife her hair looks great

2007-01-10T09:01:00.000-05:00

If you don't then she might visit oprah.com and see that she needs to get to the salon.

If our haircuts cost $15 and hers costs $150 shouldn't we get some sort of bonus?

Kirstie Alley in a swim suit.........

2007-01-10T08:58:00.000-05:00

At least it's January so you probably won't see your wife headed out to buy swim suits. I think there will be some sort of flanked attack on us because Kirstie Alley is a little boring don't you think?

THURSDAY'S SHOW: Kirstie Alley's Bikini Reveal

Don't miss a television event that was one year in the making. Kirstie
Alley keeps her promise to reveal it all in a bikini in front of
millions! Plus, one guest weighed more than 300 pounds and her father was
ashamed. Now, two years later, see the dramatic follow-up. And, the
inspiring update on a guest whose wildest dream came true.

Find out more about this show and what's coming up!
http://www2.oprah.com/tows/coming/tows_coming.jhtml

Family issues

2007-01-09T10:43:00.000-05:00

Sounds like they are showing clips from inside all types of couples homes. This should probably make all people feel like they are not the only ones that fight etc.

Does my butt look big

2007-01-08T09:31:00.000-05:00

Great, just what we need is our wives thinking their butt looks big. Get ready for multi outfit try ons this week and possibly a shopping trip for whatever Oprah tells them to buy.

Dr. OZ and his embarrising questions

2007-01-08T09:29:00.000-05:00

Today oprah has some Dr on to talk about poop and sweat.

Since tonight is the national championship game and a lot of guys are getting Hammered Drunk (thanks Cal) that won't be such a big deal.

Week in review

2007-01-05T10:05:00.000-05:00

The hot topics this week will be

Strip clubs / porn
How to raise kids
How much money you have and what class that makes you
Getting rid of the germs in the house
Faith Hill
And your baby gets some new jeans.

Have a good weekend and make sure you explain your plans for the national championship game Monday night

Your wife gets new jeans

2007-01-05T10:04:00.000-05:00

Oprah is telling the gals what kind of jeans they need for their body type. Be prepared for your special lady to get some new denim this weekend.

Friday's show

2007-01-04T09:20:00.000-05:00

I got the email from my membership :) that says Friday is going to be a bunch of out takes so hopefully we slide into the weekend without any topics that will ruin your weekend. Be prepared to listen to some Faith Hill or Tim McGraw though. Sounds like a surprise proposal is coming too so remember all the important dates.

FRIDAY'S SHOW: Never Before Seen 'Oprah' Outtakes

'The Oprah Show' has nine cameras that capture everything before and
after the show. Now, the moments you never got to see. Faith Hill and Tim
McGraw's steamy duet. Plus, a surprise proposal! Then, tough-talking
Grandma Madea lets loose. And, the moment that got Oprah 'bleeped.'

Find out more about this show and what's coming up!
http://www2.oprah.com/tows/coming/tows_coming.jhtml

Your house will be clean this weekend

2007-01-03T08:43:00.000-05:00

Thursday Oprah is going to do a show on germs in the house and how to clean it up. Of course she is throwing in a makeover piece as well.

Sounds like a win win for the guys. I'll take a clean house with my wife dolled up any weekend.

Message Boards - It's as bad as you think

2007-01-02T14:51:00.000-05:00

Once you become a member you can see the message boards on her site.

Trust me on this one. We need to get on there and state our case. I only read a few but it is bad, really bad.

Join Oprah.com - Oh Snap

2007-01-02T14:44:00.000-05:00

I just took one for the team here.

If you register with Oprah.com as a member there is an amazing amount of propaganda to sign up for. This means your wifes email box could also be filled with more crazy talk then you could ever deal with.

I only had the guts to get the weekly Oprah Newsletter and the one about Money. I don't think I can handle the other 100 or so options.

Oprah.com site alerts

2007-01-02T14:33:00.000-05:00

Just so you know I am giving you the cliff notes on what to expect. If one of these topics is really going to apply to you I encourage you to vistit Oprah.com

On the site right now
5 Things to take your relationship to the next level
http://www2.oprah.com/presents/2005/poise/relationships/relationships_best_101.jhtml

Ouch

Oprahs 7 day diet plan?

give yourself a complete makeover

Oprah Helps South Africa

2007-01-02T14:23:00.000-05:00

I don't know all the details but it sounds like she promised Nelson Mandela that she would help out some kids in South Africa and she built a school for 150 girls to attend. Great start but with her kind of paper and influence she could of set that up for 15,000 kids. I also think for every kid in South Africa she helps she should be helping 1,500,000 kids in the USA. That is just me.

What Class are you? 1/3/07

2007-01-02T14:21:00.000-05:00

This one could get your wife thinking about all kinds of things. You might want to ask her the question tonight just to get a grip of what tomorrow might be like. Close a dela or do something to make some money on Wednesday.

according to oprah here is the class structure

less than $25k Lower class
$25k - 70k Middle class
$70K + Upper Class.

So if you make $70k+ you will probably be OK come Wednesday night. You might want to show her your last pay stub with the year to date on it so she knows.

How is $70k upper class in the US?

I think $250k is the real number. $70k won't get you much in these times. Lets just say $70k gave you a take home of $4000 per month. If you have a wife, 2 kids, 2 cars, a mortgage, and any kind of appetite for life this won't get it done.

The High School Challenge 1/2/07

2007-01-02T14:16:00.000-05:00

If you have teens or kids at all your wife will talk about what high school will be like for your kids and strategies to keep them in line.

Why do men go to strip clubs 1/1/07

2007-01-02T14:15:00.000-05:00

Yesterday Oprah talked about why men go to strip clubs, How much Porn you look at, and what you think about after sex.

This one could be on Tivo due to a holiday so be prepared

Intro to Knowprah

2007-01-02T13:47:00.000-05:00

Knowprah - An online media outlet for men to inform them of what happened on Oprah on a daily basis.
Reason for Knowprah - If men know what Oprah talked about today they know what they will be talking about that night. This will help guys prepare for some of the off the wall ideas women get and try to push on their husbands.
Who is Knowprah for? Anyone who has been caught off guard by an Oprahism.

How many times have you (Married Guy) come home and after the how was your day 30 second review is over did you hear some crazy talk like " I think we need a couples massage" or " We should paint this room a different color to change the mood" or " Can you buy me the Faith Hill album from iTunes?" (Doesn't even Like Country music) or " I think our furniture is too square, we should buy some with round furniture" etc. etc. etc.

These things all come from Oprah, the lady controls your wife. If you don't beleive me see if she can go 30 days without watching.

Bottom line is that if you (Married Guy) know what Oprah talked about before you go home you can be prepared. Try it for a week and see what you think. Use the information to your advantage and see where it gets you.

Here's to information